Polyamory means "loving more than one". This love may be sexual, emotional, spiritual, or any combination thereof, according to the desires and agreements of the individuals involved, but you needn't wear yourself out trying to figure out ways to fit fondness for apple pie, or filial piety, or a passion for the Saint Paul Saints baseball club into it. "Polyamorous" is also used as a descriptive term by people who are open to more than one relationship even if they are not currently involved in more than one. (Heck, some are involved in less than one.) Some people think the definition is a bit loose, but it's got to be fairly roomy to fit the wide range of poly arrangements out there.

Polyamory in it's most basic sense is responsible, honest non-monogamy, as opposed to what society commonly calls "cheating". In a polyamorous relationship, the partners involved all know about one another, and are consenting. The major elements in most polyamorous relationships are: honesty, openness, and plenty of communication. Polyamorists believe that the addition of a new partner does not detract from the love given to the first partner, nor does it in anyway imply that the first partner is lacking in any way. Much time and effort is spent in a polyamorous relationship to assure that everyone involved is comfortable, secure, and that all their needs are met.

Polyamory encompasses an infinite number of relationship possibilities, limited only by the imagination, needs, and cooperation of the partners involved. We will not even attempt to cover all the possibilities, but will outline some of the more common relationship styles and guidelines.

Most polyamorists base multiple relationships primarily on strong emotional feelings, or love, with sexual relations often following as a natural way to express that emotion. Some poly relationships may not even involve sex. Other poly relationships may start out based on a more sexual attraction, and the emotions grow as the relationship intensifies.

In the polyamorous community you will find a variety people and relationships, all with one thing in common: an agreement that non-monogamy is natural and acceptable, if practiced in an open and honest way. Some of the types of people and groups you may find are:

• Poly Singles ~ People who are not currently involved in any relationship, but believe in the concept of polyamory, and hope to incorporate it into any future relationships they may have.
• Poly Couples ~ Committed couples who are open to having relationships outside of their own relationship. Some committed couples may choose to have relationships separately, or some may choose to both be involved in the same relationship... for example, they may choose to become involved with another couple, or if one partner is bisexual, they may both be involved with the same individual person.
• Open Poly Groups ~ A group of 3 or more people who are committed to one another in some way, and are also open to adding new partners to the relationship, either as a separate relationship between one partner and a new person, or as an addition to the group.
• Closed Poly Groups ~ A group of 3 or more people who are committed to one another in some way, therefore practicing non-monogamy, but have chosen not to add any new partners. This is commonly referred to as "polyfidelity".
• Note on Sexuality ~ Polyamorists in any of the above descriptions may consist of heterosexuals, gays/lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered, etc.

Each poly relationship may have different guidelines designed to make everyone involved comfortable. Examples of some guidelines which may be implemented by poly partners are:

• Condom Commitment ~ Partners maintain multiple relationships with an agreement to confine exchange of bodily fluids and barrier-free intercourse to the primary relationship.
• Single-sex Polyamory ~ A person may feel comfortable allowing a partner to seek outside relationships with people of one sex but not the other.
• Veto ~ Partners agree to an open relationship, but allow their primary partner to approve any new partners. If the primary partner does not approve of a new partner, then the new relationship will not continue.
• Prior Approval ~ Each partner is allowed to seek out other relationships, but each partner has the right to meet a new partner before the relationship moves to a sexual level, and the primary partner is involved in any decisions which may impact the primary relationship.
• Inclusive Polyamory ~ Partners agree to open their relationship to multiple partners, but not to have separate relationships. In other words, all partners must be involved with any new partner. Most commonly found in relationships with bisexuality, but not always. For example, "Involved" may include deep friendship, or group sex that does not involve bisexuality.
• Primary Priority ~ Partners maintain multiple relationships, with the agreement that their primary relationship always comes first. These other relationships are often called "secondary".
• Tell-All ~ Partners agree to maintain multiple relationships and agree to keep each other informed of specific and intimate details.
• Need-to-Know ~ Partners agree to maintain multiple relationships and each agrees to make the other aware that a new relationship has started, but does not supply addition information or specific details unless asked.
• Don't Ask/Don't Tell ~ Partners agree to an open relationship, but would rather not be aware of any outside relationships their partner has.
• Sexual Polyamory ~ Partners agree to multiple sexual relationships, but prefer to keep them on a primarily sexual level, with less emotional involvement. For many, this type of arrangement may be more accurately described as swinging.

A common type of non-monogamous relationship which seems to be more well known among general society than the term "polyamory" is often called "swinging". Are polys "swingers"? Pali Paths of Hawaii answers this question with the following:

"Polyamory is about close intimate personal relationships rather than casual sex, and poly groups do not hold sex parties or serve as pick-up clubs. Polys vary a good deal in their attitudes toward casual or recreational sex, though most polys are sensuous, adventuresome people. Still, many swingers may find that polyamory is a natural step onward in their relationship path, carrying them beyond recreational sex to multilateral intimacy."

There is a bit of debate as to the similarities and differences between swinging and polyamory. Some polyamorists consider swinging to be a subset of polyamory, with a stronger emphasis on the sexual aspects of the relationship, while other polyamorists may even look upon the swinging community with distaste. The differences (or lack of differences) are irrelevant. The important thing to realize is that regardless of what a person calls themselves, you will find both relationship types under each category. Some self-called polys may concentrate heavily on the sexual aspect of a relationship, while some self-called swingers, may consider emotional bonding to be a primary element in their relationships. As a result, the two terms seem to overlap in a way that forces a very broad definition.